once upon a time, i wouldn’t have written this all down and called it a “birth story.” not because it wasn’t one, but because i’ve always downplayed moments that are incredibly significant for me. defense mechanism, kinda ;)

with luke, i took a lot of photos, but failed to do things i think most first time moms are super on top of: memory books, the official month-by-month photo, writing down all the firsts and favorites. i could never find a baby book that didn’t include sentimental dad-specific info, and given my personal situation, i just got frustrated and sad and pushed traditional memory keeping to the side. and now that i’m a mom to lennon, i’m trying to rewire my thoughts and give myself grace - it’s okay to not be a continuous record keeper, but also, doing this for lennon doesn’t make me a bad mom to luke. *wooooosh*

so after 1 entire year of avoiding it….here we go =)

Saturday, Nov 2 2019:
I shot Bria and John’s wedding at Fat Bottom Reserve in Nashville. Somewhat psychotically, I’d pep-talked to my pregnant belly all summer that it was okay for her to come out as soon as this wedding had ended but not one single minute before the sparkler sendoff!! PS; definitely had a plan in place and badass associate shooter on deck with me, but I was still thrilled to get to work with them. And honestly, shooting for 11 hours was exhausting but probably helped get Lennon here a little quicker!

Sunday, Nov 3 2019:
recuperated from the wedding, but also decided that since I was officially done and ready for baby, it was time to implement ALL of the baby-inducing techniques. I ate a healthy amount of dates. And pineapple (it was november, and only canned pineapple was available, but whatever). i steeped roughly 6 bags of raspberry tea leaves 2x that day.
i’ll never know for absolute sure but i believe i started having contractions at bedtime that night. they were very subtle and not painful. but i could barely sleep. i kept waking up for these weird feelings that i hadn’t felt before. AND, i had to wake up and pee 4 or 5 times that night instead of just my usual 4am potty break.

Monday, Nov 4 2019:
woke up. debated on if derek and i should snap a few photos of the almost 40 week bump. we hadn’t taken any recently and I was so tired - i told derek, “lets wait til you’re home later, or tomorrow.” luckily we went ahead and did it then. derek goes to work, i go get acupuncture in Nashville (because, duh, trying to get this baby out!). not a fan of needles but fell asleep during acupuncture, then while i was driving home i remember feeling Lennon move and paying attention to it differently. when your baby is around 6-7 months or so, they are small enough they can kick and flip around. but at 39 weeks, movements are intense but small. they don’t have as much room. i can only describe it feeling like, instead of major moves, it felt like she was just slowly turning or rotating somehow (illogical). Maybe its because i was driving alone and had nothing else to think about, but i suddenly thought:

those aren’t movements, those are contractions.

and then i decided to time them. and sure enough, they happened about every 4 minutes.

here’s where things become a blur:

called derek (nonchalantly, he says). he made me call the doc, whose nurse encouraged me to come in… but yall i hadn’t even packed my bags for the hospital yet plus i wanted a tasty last meal and to take a nap. i wanted this baby here more than anything, but i also desperately wanted to not be induced, for my water to break on its own, and to labor naturally until i was ready to labor not-naturally lol. sometimes the hospital part can be a very hurry-up-to-wait scenario and i was wanting to avoid that. but- derek leaves work and comes home; i’m napping. he’s panicking. i made him take 2 shots of tequila to calm the hell down. i wasn’t in any sort of pain and felt great, and so i started getting packed, ate a chicken salad sandwich from Donut Country (SO GOOD) and called our parents, made arrangements for luke.

we headed to the hospital on a clear evening with a beautiful purple and red sunset, and was checked in and in my bed by 5:30pm.
to make a longer story more concise:
* nurses determined i was probably in labor, but they weren’t really SURE. i was around 3cm dilated, which doesn’t always mean much. my contractions had been steady and about 4min apart which was an indicator of labor, but they had slowed down dramatically after i’d gotten comfy in bed, so there was a chance it was just a fluke.
* my doc wasn’t in until the following morning, and since my contractions started slowing down at nighttime, i advocated strongly for myself - as long as the baby was healthy, i wanted to labor through the night, rest, and wait for my doc to arrive at 6am at which point he could break my water and get started. it was this option, or to start with the on-call doc right away, or to just go home. i was only a few days from my due date and didn’t want to go home, and so i was SO grateful for the nurses at St Thomas Rutherford who worked with me and allowed me to labor through the night.

* full disclosure, i was a lil bummed. for me personally - i know i want an epidural, but i wanted also to start my labor as naturally as possible, to skip pitocin until necessary, to have my water break on its own (which i never have experienced). i wanted to be as fully dilated, my body as ready as possible, before any intervention took place. i had. come in that day thinking my body was ready but before bedtime was no longer sure and the thought of a full induction was just something i hadn’t really prepared for mentally.

Tues November 5, 2019

* When I woke up at 4am for a nurse’s check, i had gone from about 3cm. to 5cm.
* When my doctor came in at 6am, i was past 6cm, and my contractions were steady and getting stronger. I was for sure in active labor!!! this made me feel so much better about having my water broken. he also started me on a low dosage of pitocin and an epidural came along at some point after that.

* Between 6am and about 11am, i mostly slept! tried to keep. it chill ya know. i napped. i ate some ice chips. napped some more. i started getting uncomfortable and feeling nauseous. at first they thought it was just perhaps the epidural or medicine making me nauseous.

* PLOT TWIST: i was nauseous because i was 10cm dilated and about to have a baby! they paged my doc, who was there in 60 seconds flat; 4 pushes and 10 minutes later, Lennon was here. She was here, and for the second time in my life, my heart and completely and totally spontaneously combusted. Love at first sight. The next few days and weeks spent in a hazy blur, of tears, milk, snuggles, the outer learning of a being my body had known for 9 months already. postpartum waves of highs - of crying-laughing while holding her - and lows - not being able to sleep for fear she would go to sleep and not wake up. i am always reminded, the days are long but the years are short.

Lennon Catherine Oxford - 8lb 6oz, 21 inches long. 11:58am. due date: Nov 11 birth date: Nov 5 — Lennon Catherine Oxford - 8lb 6oz, 21 inches long. 11:58am.
due date: Nov 11
birth date: Nov 5

At the 1 year mark, Lennon is crawling backwards and forwards, almost walking - got a firm grip on the words uh-oh, thank-you, brother, bye-bye, hi, dada, and rounding the corner on mama. she only wants to eat grown up foods off grown up plates and forks. aluminum cans are the best toys and her favorite game is throwing her toy over the steps and scooting down to get it (assisted, of course). we’re still nursing but i know this chapter is coming to a close, as much as it pains me to say so.

we’re richer due to all the belly laughs, kisses, and snuggles she bestows upon us.

we love her.

we think we’ll keep her =)

thanks for letting me share these little moments with you guys.

birth photos by my lovely friend Amanda of Phlashy Photography

fresh 48 photos by the one and only Andrew Morton Photo